The game at hand
Short-attention-span synopsis: Another gold (pants) rush. J.T. hurt by a camera: What the Hail? Introducing your Michigan quarterback, John O’Verthrown. New T-shirt idea: OSU, Keep Calm; Michigan, Carrion. Buckeyes find a relief pitcher.
Pregame buzz: With Ohio State’s playoff chances hanging by a thread, the Buckeyes donned some seriously nontraditional threads for their most historypacked rivalry game. Recent tradition calls for The Game to be held two days after Thanksgiving and for OSU to treat Michigan the way the Bumpus hounds tear into the old man’s turkey. For a while, the Wolverines had other ideas. And then they got gobbled up. Worth the trip? Ohio State fans did not have the run of the Big House, unlike other times when the Buckeyes entered as a big favorite, like the 2013 game. (Or was it 2015? Oh, dear, these are all starting to run together, aren’t they?) Anyway, a possible disaster on multiple fronts (slow start, J.T. Barrett injury) gave way to the world remaining on its axis. One-liner: Has Michigan become so desperate to win a rivalry game that it would hire Jeff Gillooly to roam its opponents’ sidelines and seek a new Nancy Kerrigan to bash? Alas, that’s no lead-pipe cinch.
What we’re thankful for: Blessed be that some people don’t live in an alternate universe. For a while, it looked like the Michigan Wolverines were hosting the Oakland Raiders. But first a band marched into place to form two script versions of the word Ohio and thousands of red-clad fans in the seats cheered when the “Raiders” made a good play. Mystery solved, Matlock: It’s Ohio State! lost our leader, but we never lost our way. We said it 2014 and we’ll say it again.
How the playoff committee will see it: Reservation for Ohio State, you say? Well, um, your table is not quite ready. Maybe you could have a seat in the bar and we’ll call you if it becomes available. Oops, did I say if?
How Buckeye Nation sees it: It’s not really a rivalry if one team wins all the time. You know, maybe it would be better if the Wolverines were able to win one of these. C’mon, Charlie Brown, kick the football. We won’t pull it away. on Fox for the first time, we feel compelled to address the ridiculous number of commercial interruptions. But first a word from our sponsor. Seriously, if you haven’t switched to Geico by now — after watching 238 advertisements for it in the first half alone — your patience deserves to be inducted into the willpower hall of fame. As one viewer put it, “It’s a shame football is getting in the way of commercials.” At the same time, Fox refused to show enough replays. Gus Johnson is loud, but the network should not be proud of this one. IS WITH ME!” @EzekielElliott: Unlimited gold pants Twitter:
@OhioGabe: Of course we got off to a slow start. They dressed up like paste.
@sylvaniaperl: First half summary in legal terms: Unintentional infliction of emotional distress.
@bubbamudd: They should send O’Korn to every dictatorship in the world so he can overthrow them all.
@741slverfox: Commercials are winning the time of possession battle!
@river_princess_: are you sure @ Cardale7_ didn’t just suit up for @jt_theqbiv
@StraitChris: If I were this guy with a camera, I’d be in hiding about right now and hire a lawyer.
@SILVERFOXJF: Wolverines cough up another Harbaugh. @mmclaughlin626: At least they got to go to Italy @mrmuleman: Is it still a ‘rivalry’ if you’ve won 15 out of 17? Asking for a friend... #domination