Trouble in the family business

Q: My sister and I work with our mother and father in a successful family business. Although outsiders view us as an exemplary professional family, the reality is that we are in constant conflict. Sis and I often disagree with our parents, and we have a strong sibling rivalry which produces frequent arguments.

I’m sure that many business families experience these issues, but I don’t know how to resolve them. If we could learn to listen and respect each other, perhaps we could figure out how to work together. How can we fix this?

A: “Family business” borders on being an oxymoron, so you are correct in assuming that others have similar difficulties.

The basic problem is that families lack the constraints and boundaries that exist in a workplace. Decision-making becomes an agonizing process, especially if responsibilities are poorly defined.

Because your company is successful, the family has obviously done many things right. However, the current level of dissension does not bode well for the future.

To turn this around, ground rules should be established for communication, conflict resolution and collaborative decision-making. Some companies drop family titles and use only first names at work.

In many family enterprises, no one has ever worked anywhere else, resulting in a general lack of management knowledge. Fortunately, this deficit can be remedied with books, workshops, online resources, or mentoring organizations.

A shared understanding of sound management practices can help to remove family dynamics from business discussions. But if the bickering continues unabated, a family therapist might be the ultimate solution.