Dropping hints about ring can help in guiding fiance

My fiance is about to buy my engagement ring. He knows I like jewelry, so he always gets me that as a gift.

That being said, he apparently doesn’t really understand my taste. What is the polite way to tell him if I dislike the ring, or should I even do that?

Not if you want this engagement to lead to marriage, let alone to more jewelry.

As you know the ring is forthcoming, Miss Manners suggests that you set about quickly complimenting the things that you do like about the jewelry your fiance has already given you. Specifics that are also sufficiently vague — such as “I love round stones” or “I prefer a classic style” — are useful, while also giving him some room to make his own decisions. Or he may give up in desperation and ask you to take over.

My husband and I seem to be at odds regarding the cookies our bank offers to patrons in the lobby.

I say that the cookies are to be enjoyed by patrons while they are there, and I object to my husband’s practice of coming home with four to six each time he visits the bank.

When he arrives home, he places them in a plastic baggie and puts them in the freezer to eat throughout the week until the next time he goes to the bank.

Cookie plates are meant to be shared, which means that a one-per-customer rule should be observed, even if not posted.

Perhaps your bank feels differently, although as a rule, Miss Manners has observed that banks frown on customers who fill their pockets with whatever happens to be lying around just because it is not currently under lock and key.

We are getting ready to celebrate my daughter’s quinceanera, and have decided not to serve alcohol for many reasons. My mother was mortified when she learned this, and keeps pressuring me to provide alcohol.

She does not drink; however, she insists that the only reason guests attend such celebrations is to drink, and that guests will be disappointed.

Although I have put my foot down on the issue, I want to know whether it’s rude not to offer alcohol at such events. Should I let guests know in advance so they can make the choice themselves, and not be disappointed when they arrive? Should it be printed in the invitations?

I say that if guests truly care about my daughter, they will attend regardless, and if they only want to attend for free alcohol, then we are probably better off without them.

How pitiful that your mother thinks that the only reason your family would celebrate your daughter is free liquor.

If it is possible, hold the event during the day and call it a brunch or a tea. Alcohol will be less expected. Or if it is a less formal occasion, word the invitation with what is being offered, rather than what is not: “Dinner will be served, along with soda and juice.” For those bold enough to object to this situation, Miss Manners suggests that you politely remind them of the reason for the celebration — and that the guest of honor is not yet of drinking age.

When sitting at a table, from which side of the chair do you enter and exit?

The one that does not have someone else’s knees firmly perched up against it.