Roseanne Barr

Upside: 2012 run as minor party candidate gave her campaign experience. (She actually received 48,000

votes.)

Downside: After Trump, country will be looking for more filter, not less.

Jeff Bezos

Upside: Amazon founder now richest person in history — so politician could buy Koch brothers, instead of other way around.

Downside: Under his name on the ballot would be message beginning “Customers who voted for Bezos also voted for . . . “

Nick Saban Upside: Serious demeanor. Wears same expression on thirdand-short that Kennedy wore during Cuban missile crisis.

Downside: Recruiting habits hard to break. Do we really want 18-yearold high-school grad with 4.4 speed as secretary of state?

Mark Hamill

Upside: Role as Luke Skywalker has made him pop-culture hero. Waving light saber around on movie set gives him more military experience than Trump, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton combined.

Downside: The hood would look strange at state dinners.

Judge Judy

Upside: Has realityshow credentials similar to Trump’s.

Downside: Might appoint herself to Supreme Court.

Fiona, the baby hippo

Upside: Adorable Cincinnati Zoo animal with global internet following. Proven ability to mingle with heavyweights.

Downside: Hippo aggression includes biting with huge teeth and flinging dung with tail. So, much too genteel for Washington.