Annoying car conversations should be turned off politely
In today’s “sharing” economy, there seems to be a level of expected niceties. I frequently find myself in a car on the way to an airport, wondering how to escape a lengthy, forced discussion. I imagine that the driver is also tired of the same conversations and would enjoy a moment or two of silence.
At times, I am working. At other times, I am communicating with whomever will be expecting me at my destination, or I am coordinating my ID, boarding pass, etc.
Recently, I found myself forced to explain the medical details of why we were heading to a health-care facility!
Is there a polite way to avoid the awkward and unnecessary conversations that come with the conveniences of today’s economy?
Unfortunately, conversation seems to be a commodity in these ride-sharing programs.
Miss Manners has found that most of them have a ratings system where you can express your opinion of the driver — and it often includes rating your conversation. She urges you to share your opinion to the contrary with the company. But until the system is rectified, you may give polite, but limited, responses to such inquiries. If that does not work say, “I am so sorry, but I have to get some work done/ take this call. Perhaps we can chat later.”
I have been in my line of business for about 10 years, and I am increasingly dealing with higher-level management clients at large companies. Clients can be more or less agreeable, but there have been only two instances in my career that a client has crossed a line firmly into the unprofessional, becoming verbally abusive or shouting at my team and me.
Both times, I was so surprised that I did not know what to do, so I just stared at the client in great surprise, waited a beat, and then kept talking about the business issue. One time, the client apologized afterward; the other time, the client issued a half-apology.
I do not anticipate many such situations in the future, but does Miss Manners have a better way of responding to situations such as this? In retrospect, I wish I had told the client something that indicated I would not tolerate this behavior. I do not mind losing business if that is the outcome — my team (often young women) and I deserve professional treatment at all times. I could try practicing proper responses, just in case.
You would be justified in saying exactly that, in measured tones that both model good behavior and make your point. But your previous method of a confounded and lengthy stare seems to have worked well, too.
You should not be deterred by the stare’s half-hearted response. It seems to Miss Manners that anyone who is willing to shout and become verbally abusive is not likely to do more than give a half-apology for that behavior. Quietly terminating the business relationship, however, will likely be even more effective.
How do I politely tell my neighbor that I have already called AAA and don’t need to hand her my car keys and pop the hood? She refuses to take no for an answer.
“Thank you, but I don’t want you to get dirty. My car is particularly filthy today.” Say this while holding on tightly to your keys.