Son’s reaction to money immature, irresponsible

I was working out of town in a position that paid a good salary. When my adult son proposed to his girlfriend, I told him I would try and give him $10,000 for the wedding. Well, things changed. I had to return home for good, and my salary was cut. When I told my son I wouldn’t be able to give him $10,000, but could give him only $5,000, he got upset and said, “You promised that amount. We we were counting on that money!”

I feel a gift is a gift, and they should be happy with whatever I can manage. My friends agree that he is behaving inappropriately. I am single and trying to retire in 10 years. Please help. —

Your son’s reaction was immature. He should understand that sometimes circumstances can change. If you haven’t already explained why you need to cut back on the sum you planned to give him, do it now. How he reacts to your explanation will tell you whether you want to give him even $5,000.

I recently took a job working for someone I knew. He was a neighbor and attended my church for several years, but we were never more than acquaintances.

After I began working there, I saw things going on with other girls in the office that were inappropriate. Then I stumbled across a sexual online chat he was having with one of them. As I scrolled through the feed, it became apparent they’re having an affair. I quit working there.

We still live in the same community. He has a beautiful, kind and pregnant wife. Should I tell her? Should I tell anyone, or remain quiet? It makes me sick, and I don’t know what to do about it.

Allow me to suggest that what you do is remain silent, at least for now. His wife does not need to be told that her husband is cheating with an employee. After the baby is born, perhaps she should be told — if she doesn’t know — but not now.

Please help! How do I politely tell my partner — without hurting his feelings — that I don’t like his cooking and I should be the one doing the cooking because I’m more “seasoned” in the kitchen? I am usually the “chef” and he is the “second-incommand,” which in the past has worked.

— Uncomfortable Dear Uncomfortable: —

Here’s how: Skip the part about not liking his cooking, which could be hurtful. Instead, tell him you consider cooking together to be a bonding experience. Then say how much you enjoy taking the lead and how meaningful it is when he helps you.