SOULMATES
Anna Marie DiFalco said she often fields the question “So how’s it going?” about the relationship between her son and Cansler — often in a tone suggesting an expectation of problems and failure.
“Their (others’) view is: ‘They can’t do that. They can’t love. They can’t be in a serious relationship,’” DiFalco said. “Of course, they can.” DiFalco-Jimenez, 31, and Cansler, 27, have been proving the naysayers wrong since their first date, at a dinner and dance organized by the Future Farmers of America chapter at Clovis East High School.
“I knew she was a good person to be around, and I would gravitate to her as a friend first,” he said, explaining why he asked Cansler to be his date.
“She’s a joy. She’s friendly; she’s nice; she’s loving. And I picked her because I want to be with that person. I was lacking in a little bit of that — the happiness and going forward and stuff. And Morgan just stole my heart.”
Their relationship, Cansler said, was “meant to be.” Both said they help each other and make the other feel better.
“Morgan can get Tyler to laugh and smile and be light and airy,” Mrs. DiFalco said. “When he just breaks out in that big smile, you know he’s really definitely happy.”
Her son helps Cansler stay safe, she said.
“He just looks after her and helps her manage skills that you and I take for granted. And he does it in a very patient and loving way.”
When cooking together in their north Fresno home, for example, DiFalco-Jimenez gives Cansler tasks that he knows she can accomplish.
“He never wants her to feel like she can’t do something or that she has failed at something,” his mother said.
The couple sometimes misunderstand each other and struggle with understanding each other’s feelings, Mrs. DiFalco said, but so do couples without intellectual disabilities.
“They still love each other. They still respect each other. They still want the best for each other.”
Leslie Shirakawa, a vocational specialist for Wayfinders, has long supported their love story.
“I kept telling them, ‘You guys should just get married; you are so right for each other.’”
Cansler’s family, too, is supportive.
“There’s really always somebody for everybody,” said Cansler’s mother, Angie Cansler.
The couple’s next goal is to get a dog that looks like one of their uncle’s corgis. The two relish their opportunities to play with his corgis.
DiFalco-Jimenez works a couple of days a week on his uncle’s cattle ranch in Clovis and is looking for more work in agriculture.
Cansler is looking for a job in child care.
Their disabilities have made some employers reluctant to hire them. DiFalco-Jimenez said he wants the opportunity to give back to society.
“Don’t take us as an inferior person,” he said. “Take it as who we are as an American citizen with a disability.
“We have rights. We support the military. We love our country.”