Athlete husband out of bounds for sidelining wife from parties

My husband, Tom, and I have three kids: One is in college, the next is in grade school and the youngest is a baby. I’m a full-time medical student, and he’s a professional athlete.

From the outside, it would seem like we have a perfect life. In reality, Tom does his own thing. He attends parties, goes to social events and hobnobs with the rich and famous. I am left at home to manage all day-to-day responsibilities and socially restricted to family functions or kid sports.

I would like to be included in the invitations and attend some of the activities with him, but when I ask whether I can go, he says these are “workrelated.” He doesn’t appreciate the importance of including me. If I make a big deal about it, he opts out of the event. I’m suspicious of his behavior.

He’s kind to me, a good provider and cares for our kids, but how can I get him to understand that it’s important for both of us to have fun together with other adults?

A wife is more than a baby machine, housekeeper and nanny. She’s her husband’s partner. It would be interesting to know whether the other athletes’ wives are being treated the way you are. Talk to the ones you are closest with. Your husband may not have been entirely honest about why he insists on flying solo.

I’m the proud grandmother of an 18-month-old girl. My daughter is an attentive mother in every way except one. My concern is that she lets the baby play alone in the bathtub.

My husband and I recently celebrated my birthday at her house. When I asked where the baby was, another guest said, “She’s playing in the bathtub.” Sure enough, the baby was playing and swimming around in the water by herself. I was horrified! I can’t imagine that it is ever OK to leave a baby unattended in the bath.

I sent my daughter information to point out the danger, but she didn’t want to hear it. Do you have some magic words for me? Babies have been known to drown in as little as 2 inches of water. Your clueless daughter may not want to hear it, but what you have described is child endangerment. The magic words you are asking for are: “parenting classes.” And if she still won’t listen, some other good ones are: “Child Protective Services.”