Sharing bad prognosis helpful for some people

I hope “Keeping” takes your advice and tells his friends. If he does, he may find these hard times to be some of the “best” times.

Thank you for sharing. I opened the question to my readers and many (but not all) agreed with my answer. Read on:

As a former cancer patient and licensed therapist, I’d urge “Keeping” not to share that information if he doesn’t want to. Truth is, not all people who hear the news will be supportive. Some will avoid him, some will pity him, and others will say amazingly inappropriate things. A prognosis of two years is a long time for people to react to him — and for him to handle their reactions.

After chemo and clinical trials failed to contain my husband’s cancer, he was told he had less than a year to live. We had already shared the initial prognosis with family and friends. Loved ones from near and far have visited him, called and emailed. Their visits have done more for his quality of life than any drug, and have probably extended it.

He has also made once-in-a-lifetime trips this past year with siblings, which would not have happened if we had waited to disclose his prognosis.

I was in the same situation and, for me, it was not even a choice. I felt I had to tell everyone in our circle. The result was a warm outpouring of support and concern, even from neighbors we barely knew, which particularly helped my wife.

I have been very fortunate. My new treatment worked, I am now in remission, and we no longer need day-to-day support. for the loss.