Truth will counter false statements by mother-in-law

Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby:

The problem is my mother-in-law. She has told everyone that I have been accepted into the master’s program at a prestigious school in my area — one I am hoping to get into. Abby, we recently threw a surprise party for her mother and everyone was congratulating me. I had to correct them, saying that is my hope, but I haven’t yet applied.

I have asked her to stop, but it continues. Now I’m nervous that if I don’t get in, I’ll look like a failure.

Dear Nervous: I am unsure why your mother-in-law would continue to spread information she knows isn’t true. Perhaps it’s wishful thinking. If you tell her that what she’s doing only increases the pressure on you, she may pipe down. But don’t count on it.

Because you can’t control what comes out of her mouth, you have two choices. Gain admission to that master’s program or, if that doesn’t turn out to be possible, level with the people who prematurely congratulate you and explain that your MIL jumped the gun and acceptance wasn’t a sure thing. The only thing you shouldn’t do is allow yourself to be embarrassed about it.

Dear Abby: A recent death in my family has affected me greatly. Her love for others was boundless; her enthusiasm for life unparalleled. Her sense of humor was remarkable. I’m speaking about my labradoodle, Molly. My problem is, people don’t get it. Molly was family. I loved her, she died and I’m heartbroken. I’m being told to “get over it” — she was “just a dog.”

I understand that some people don’t like dogs. What I don’t get is that they can’t grasp that I have experienced a great loss.

Dear Grieving: Unless someone has experienced what you have, it can be difficult to empathize. I hope you will reach out to Molly’s veterinarian and ask whether he or she knows about a support group you can join.