School friend might be nice, but safety trumps sleepovers

on them because of their circumstances. I also do not want to impact her friendship with a sweet girl.

Your reasons for hesitating are kind and thoughtful. They’re also just clutter.

If you had to choose, protecting your daughter’s safety or her high opinion of this family, you’d choose safety. If you had to choose between her safety and this friendship, you’d choose safety.

Your mom-dar told you there’s no one controlling who has access to your sleeping, minor child. That fact alone says no sleepovers.

So, say that. “I’m sorry. This isn’t negotiable till they’re back on their feet.” Say, “Your friend is always welcome here.” Dear Carolyn: A couple with four kids live in the house facing my backyard. This time of year, I sleep with my bedroom window open. I rarely use air conditioning. I sleep with earplugs in.

On Saturday nights or before holidays, they sit out on their backyard deck till midnight talking LOUDLY. I can’t sleep till they go inside. I brought this up with the husband last summer and he told me they like to enjoy their deck and entertain.

I thought there was a law about quiet time from 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. in residential settings.

How do you suggest I deal with this?

I suggest that on Saturday nights and before holidays, you use your air conditioning.

At this writing, yes, there is a local ordinance in your favor. But do you really want to be the fun police? When you already have a much easier and friendlier remedy available to you?

If it were 3 a.m. and/ or nightly and/or a deliberate provocation, then we’d have a different conversation.