Comedy falls miles short of the winner’s circle

him when the camera was rolling.

“Show Dogs” is only 90 minutes long but seemingly lasts for days. Watching the film is akin to walking out of that “Chronicles of Narnia” wardrobe:

The “Show Dogs” plot is, note for note, a reboot of the 2000 film “Miss Congeniality,” albeit one featuring a pet show instead of a beauty pageant.

Arnett plays a cop who teams with an uncouth police Rottwieler (voiced by Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) who must infiltrate an animaltheft ring at a dog pageant. The dogs all talk, but the humans can’t hear them — a "Show Dogs." Directed by Raja Gosnell. MPAA rating: PG (for suggestive and rude humor, language and some action) Running time: 1:32 Now showing at the Columbus 10 at Westpointe, Crosswoods, Dublin Village 18, Easton 30, Georgesville Square 16, Grove City 14, Lennox 24, Movies 11 at Mill Run, Movies 12 at Carriage Place, Movies 16 Gahanna, Pickerington, Polaris 18 and River Valley theaters

fact that doesn’t become clear until several sequences into the movie.

The production seems frozen in the 1980s, with a Reagan-era vibe of good times during the chase scenes, as if a Pointer Sisters song is always threatening to break out.

(Further evidence of the dated screenplay: The script features a reference to “Turner & Hooch,” the Tom Hanks cop/dog buddy comedy released 29 years ago.)

The film also suffers from a serious lack of pacing. Instead, the filmmaking seems to be in service of whatever piece of slapstick or one-liner is on the screen at the moment.

And those jokes — which are highlighted as if with a spotlight — are groan-inducing.

The movie dialogue is akin to a boorish seatmate on a plane who responds to your lack of interest by only talking louder.

The best thing that can be said about the comedy: By some miracle, a flatulentdog joke doesn’t arrive until the 30-minute mark.

“Show Dogs” seems like an easy target for critics who take filmed entertainment too seriously. It is largely aimed at indiscriminating young audiences. It doesn’t pretend to be more than a fun diversion.

“Show Dogs” co-stars Natasha Lyonne, a solid actress who deserves the easy paycheck. But films cost money, and viewers’ family time should be valuable.

We all deserve a better live-action talking-dog movie than this.