Flaky cousin deserves shot at wedding honor

cousin there are serious responsibilities that go along with being a maid of honor and ask if they would create a problem for her. Tell her that if it’s too much for her, she could be a bridesmaid. If she says she wants to be maid of honor, give her the chance. But if she flakes

ask your best friend to step in.

Dear Abby: Last year I came out as a gay man. I’m 35, and it was a very difficult decision. I haven’t been in a relationship with a man before and have dated only women up until now. I have been on a few dates, and I feel like I fall too fast and easily for a guy. I’m struggling to fit into the gay community and understand what is acceptable.

I recently met someone I really like, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I am scared I’ll mess it up.

I am not sure how to interact with other gay guys. It took me so long to come out, I don’t want it to take forever to find someone. How do I get over this fear of being alone and be comfortable around guys? —

Dear Feeling Lost: Make a conscious decision to relax and just be yourself because it isn’t necessary to be anyone else. In time, you will realize there are as many kinds of relationships in the gay community as there are in the straight community. Some men are looking for casual hookups while others want the same kind of solid, lasting relationship you do.

Because you are confused about “how to fit into the gay community,” you might find guidance if you contact the nearest gay and lesbian center and join one of their talk groups.