To weather this storm, couple should compromise

Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married 41 years. We live near Chicago, where the winters can be bad. My son and his family moved to Florida to escape the weather here. Now my wife wants to move, too. I have medical issues and don’t like hot, humid weather. She says she’s going, and I told her I’m staying here. What should we do? —

Dear “Weather”: Surely there is room for compromise. If your medical condition is such that you cannot tolerate the Florida climate, then you must stay where you are. If your wife’s reason for wanting to move south is to be closer to the grandchildren, perhaps she could arrange to visit them for three or four weeks at a time throughout the year.

Dear Abby: My daughter is 17. When she was 1, she had leukemia. The treatments have left her with chronic pain as well as some disabilities that she deals with.

She’s now a senior in high school, but looks like she’s 7 or 8. She yearns for what every teen girl wants — a boyfriend. The problem is, no one wants to date her because of her young looks. I have told her she will meet that special person when she is supposed to, and she used to think that as well, but she doesn’t anymore. What can I do to help? — Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: Patience and the passage of time may bring a solution. In the meantime, go online and find out if there is a support group. Surely, others have had her experience; perhaps they can help. One thing I know — you can’t find a date until you find a friend.

Dear Abby: Because I was sexually abused as a child, I have difficulty trusting men. My oldest sons have different fathers. While they were toddlers, I met the father of my youngest two sons.

In the beginning, I wasn’t in love with him, but I am now. However, because of the emotional and physical abuse I put him through, he doesn’t feel the same. He’s a great father to all of my boys. How can I express that I want a relationship?

Dear Second Chance: If you haven’t already, offer the poor man a sincere apology for the way you have treated him. Then, if he is unaware of it, explain your history and offer to get counseling if he will give you the second chance you are asking for.