Time with baby, return to school needn’t be mutually exclusive

because they already raised four kids, are retired, and want to pursue their own interests.

I to be with my daughter and not miss out on her childhood, but I want this, too.

Am I being selfish? Is it OK to be selfish in this case? Or should I just accept that as a parent I must make sacrifices?

Selfishness isn’t the first word that came to mind as I read this; I was thinking impatience.

You want what you want and you want it now — very human of you. But your quick calculations have already told you what this (relatively speaking) immediate gratification will cost you. It’ll require all of your best hours to go to working and studying and not to your baby.

I could keep going and parse some other points about your parents and fairness and the comparative ease of doing this now versus when you have a toddler or older child, but, really — you have a baby you wouldn’t be able to see. That seems like something you accept only when you have no other choice.

You have choices, and not just the eitheror you depicted here. With a little imagination, planning and

you can get your education in a way and on a schedule that doesn’t cost you and your baby so dearly.

this means saving every penny from this generous employer until you have enough to launch, and researching every means available of reducing the daily impact of this degree once you’re financially armed to pursue it. There are many variables to consider but they fit in these two boxes: degree-obtaining options (online, self-paced, part-time, etc.) and financial options (postponing, saving, part-time work, etc.).

Meaning, replace your yes/no, black/ white, with “not yet” and strategic, measured steps. See your daughter as your beacon for this journey, versus someone who stands in the way.

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