Employee should point out wedding reception snub

enjoyed your daughter’s wedding so much that I am happy to waive any overtime I accrued for working at it. I hope that she will also enjoy the silver vase I sent.”

If the family does not have the good grace to be embarrassed by this, Miss Manners hopes that they will at least hesitate before posting their next party on social media.

Dear Miss Manners: I have a co-worker with whom I worked closely in the past, but we are currently in different areas of the same school building. She recently announced she is expecting a baby girl.

I am thrilled for her and proceeded to hand-make a few special items. In a recent conversation, she expressed her plan to have a baby shower in the near future. I would like to be included in the invitation list, simply because I would like to celebrate this happy occasion with her. How do I mention the subject of an invitation without overtly inviting myself, or putting her in a position to feel obligated to invite me if her plans did not include former co-workers?

Gentle Reader: “I have a small present for the baby. Please let me know when a good time to give it to you would be.” This prompts the expectant mother to realize that inviting you might be worth her while if she was not already planning it.

Dear Miss Manners: Is there a polite way to call attention to a stranger’s shoe odor?

When my wife and I went to an movie, a couple came and sat down next to us, the man on my left. After a few moments, he crossed his left leg over his knee, putting his left foot closer to me.

Within moments, I was besieged with a horrible odor from his sneakers. I moved to my wife’s right, leaving an empty seat to her left. After a minute, she, too, said enough is enough, and we moved together to a couple of rows back.

Would there have been a polite way to let this person know of this issue?

Gentle Reader: Even if there were, you would then likely have to endure either an unpleasant conversation or witness his trying to fix it, with more of a social obligation to stay put whilst doing so. Removing yourself from the situation solved your problem. Let us leave it at that.

Miss Manners suspects that once this man realizes that there are consistently empty seats surrounding him in public places, he will take measures to solve the problem.