Male co-worker’s underwear may show, but no need to tell
to another gift event for them, knowing how hurt/ignored many felt not to have their previous gifts acknowledged. I know of no polite way to tell my niece that this is a problem, and yet I really don’t want to host and thereby sanction their rude behavior.
Gentle Reader: As loving Aunties, you are in the unique position to help this couple maintain goodwill amongst friends and family.
“We would love to host a shower for you, but want to make sure that you have the time to acknowledge presents if the guests bring them. Perhaps we can help you gather addresses and facilitate letter-writing.”
If this plan is met with resistance, then Miss Manners authorizes you to defer hosting the party, saying that you simply do not have the time — perhaps politely pointing out that it is likely the same excuse the couple had for not sending those thankyou letters in the first place.
Dear Miss Manners:: I was at a bar for a work-related dinner meeting and ordered soup. I peppered said soup before tasting it and was castigated by one of my dinner companions.
Is the etiquette in a bar the same as what should be practiced in a more formal setting?
Gentle Reader: The peppering of one’s food is not subject to degrees of formality. Nor should they be your dinner companion’s concern — unless that person also happens to be the chef.
Dear Miss Manners: I invited my sister and two cousins out to lunch. When it came time to order, I ordered first, and then the waiter asked for my guests’ orders. Later, my sister said she was mortified because the hostess always orders last.
Did I commit a social faux pas? Usually I order first so as to set the tone of the price.
Gentle Reader: Proper manners would be for the host to ask their guests what they wanted first and then to order for the table. But Miss Manners has noticed that this has gone out of favor.
Making recommendations and setting the tone for, if not price, then certainly the breadth of the menu, is an excellent idea. It helps cue guests that three courses may be encouraged, but ordering carryout for the week is not.