Solo sightseeing can be life-changing

it forced me to realize that I could rely on myself, and that scary doesn’t always mean bad. I spent a week with a rental car and a GPS, and I came home with a new lease on life.

Don’t ask permission. Don’t phrase it in such a way that leaves worried family members room to believe their guilt will change your mind. Make a positive, straightforward, confident statement about your plans. Then, release your mind and heart.

The most beautiful thing about traveling alone is that you are beholden to no one else. You eat when you want. Sleep when you want. If you come to a place that touches you, you can sit there as long as you like without being prodded to move on by the waning interest of a companion.

Allow yourself this gift, and feel no guilt about accepting it.

On Being Left Out: I didn’t fit in growing up. I tried being overly nice, I tried honesty, I tried petty/vindictive. With the latter, I caused the few people who did like me to keep their distance.

As I grew up, I learned to see what I was doing that contributed to my being left out, and what was out of my control. After this, not only was I less bothered by it when it occurred, it simply happened less — in part because I liked myself and could laugh at myself more. Amazing how people instinctively like people comfortable in their own skin and able to let things go.

And it’s an upward spiral; The more people see it, the more people respond, the less I experience the negative effect of others.

On the Proper Level of Butting in on a Loved One’s Wedding Plans: I am getting married in six weeks, and I am dreading my bridal shower. I am dreading my wedding. I dread anyone asking about my wedding. I dread seeing my future mother-in-law.

I love my fiance more than anything and can’t wait to marry him. That’s all I want. Why can’t people just be happy with that? I feel like I have no control over any of it. Everyone has their opinions on what want, but no one seems to care that we just wanted to elope rather than have a big party.

I wish people would just let us plan our day ourselves. They don’t realize how stressful they make what should be one of the happiest times of our lives. Write to Carolyn — whose column appears on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays — at tellme@washpost.com.