Wife might need to shred credit cards to save marriage

being in debt.) I have had a problem with credit cards previously, and he threatened that if it happened again, we are done. How do I tell him I have more creditcard debt without losing him?

Dear Swimming: Go online and begin researching accredited or certified credit counselors. Make sure you choose one who is affiliated with the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org).

While you’re at it, also search for the nearest chapter of Debtors Anonymous (www.debtorsanonymous. org). The group’s 12-step program helps people who can’t control their spending.

Because you compulsively abuse credit cards, prepare yourself for the fact that you might have to get rid of all of them. And when (not if) you inform your husband about what has been going on, be sure he knows that you are

to do that. I wish you luck and recovery.

Dear Abby: My first wife, “Charlene,” died eight years ago from an accident caused by her diabetes. Six months after her funeral, I was introduced to a lovely woman and later married her. When I told my former mother-in-law that I’d started seeing someone, she asked me to stop contacting her and the rest of the family. I complied.

Since Charlene’s death, I have kept her personal photo album, which contains pictures and memorabilia from when she was a child and teenager. I also have some afghans that her grandmother made for her. I would like to return them to her parents, but I worry that it might cause them pain.

I considered writing her mother a letter to let her know about these things. Your advice would be appreciated.

Dear Treading: Because the items belonged to her daughter, box them up and send them to your former mother-in-law. Include a note explaining that you thought she would like to have them. Period.