Sex- assault victim can write off ‘ friend’ marrying attacker

your relationship will be over. While you may have repressed the memory until now, I find it hard to believe that all three of you had an attack of amnesia.

There’s no need to contact her at this point to remind her of what her fiance is capable of. Just say no. If she contacts you to ask why, explain it to her then.

Dear Abby: I have reached a crossroads with my career. I play an important role at my company, and I’m good at what I do. However, the pay is subpar, and my recent request for a raise was denied. I haven’t received a raise in several years. I couldn’t get a straight answer about the denial but was told it wasn’t my work performance.

I have started looking elsewhere, and I have several interviews scheduled. All of them will give me a $15,000-per-year salary increase over what I currently make.

What makes this difficult is my coworkers. One of them, was so angry he went to our boss himself without my knowledge. He actually got me a raise, albeit a very small one.

My heart is set on leaving, but I now feel “obligated” to stay. Can you help?

Dear Moving On: Have a private conversation with the friend who went to bat for you. Tell him you appreciate what he did, but when your boss refused the raise you asked for — after several years of no increase at all — you realized you were no longer valued by the company.

Explain that when you went job-hunting you were offered far more than you have been earning, and this will be a step up for you. It doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship with him or the others who care about you. It might stimulate him to go job-hunting, too.