Roommate means three’s not company for live-in girlfriend

Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship with “Mason” for almost two years. I moved in with him a few months back, and things have been very good between us. I know he’s The One, and I’d marry him right now if he’d ask.

My problem is his roommate, “Ryan,” who has lived with Mason for more than 10 years. Ryan is a grown, healthy man who hasn’t had a regular job during the entire time he’s lived with my boyfriend. Mason says he depends on Ryan’s $500 monthly rent payment to keep up with the lifestyle he’s used to having. I want to go further in our relationship without a third person, but when I brought it up, I was made out to be the bad guy and accused of not liking Ryan — which I consider a red flag.

Would it be unfair to break up with Mason because he’s so fond of — and dependent upon — his longtime friend/ roommate and the $500 rent? I wish he was as fond of me as he is his roommate. I want us to experience life like a normal couple without a third party. We both work, and I’m starting to resent Ryan, who I feel has no intention of moving on. Should I move out and walk away because I find it weird?

Dear B.G.G.: Before moving out and walking away, have another discussion with Mason. Ask him if he envisions a future with all three of you in it, and what that means. And while you’re at it, ask him why he feels he needs Ryan’s $500 since both of you are working and there should be no reduction in his lifestyle if Ryan moves out. If Mason still can’t agree to part with Ryan, then move out and walk away because he’s already taken.

Dear Abby: My mother has dementia. My sister came to visit. The day after she left to return to Georgia, I noticed a picture was missing from the wall. When I called and asked her about it, she said it was “her inheritance” and Mom had given it to her “a long time ago.” I think it was stealing. Mom has no idea it’s gone. What do you think? —

Dear Thrown: If it wasn’t theft, your sister would have discussed it with you before she took the picture. However, in the interest of family harmony, it’s important to carefully pick your battles.