Friend should know: Queries about wedding misdirected

just want to be a guest at the wedding and enjoy seeing her get married. How do I bow out of this untitled role she has given me?

Dear Bowing Out: I suspect that your friend included her sister in her wedding party because of pressure from relatives.

Because you think her questions are more appropriately asked of her sister, tell your friend — kindly — that she should be asking her maid of honor, who is just a phone call away.

Dear Abby: I fell in love with my first crush 30 years ago. We both felt the same way. I was six years younger than him, though, so my parents didn’t approve.

We lost contact, and, through the years, I would sometimes wonder what happened to him. Last week, his cousin found me on Facebook, and I was able to video-call him. Filled with emotion, we realized that our feelings haven’t changed.

We both have families. I’m divorced with two young-adult children. He’s married with three young-adult children. I don’t want to cause him problems. I just want to see him again but worry about what might happen. What should I do?

Dear Full: The problem with making vital decisions when “full of emotions” is that those decisions are usually impulsive and wrong. If you see him and he still feels as you say, it might lead to an affair and the end of his marriage. If you have an affair, you will be his side dish and unable to form a meaningful relationship with anyone else for years. If divorce is involved, his wife and children will be collateral damage. Because I’m not sure you have the strength to keep your distance if you meet him, ask him to include his wife and family when you do, and take your children.