Someone needs to do something about dad using hands at meals

returned, along with a card addressed to her and her new husband congratulating them on their marriage and wishing them a lifetime of love together.

I was surprised when I didn’t receive even an acknowledgment for the roses. About a month later, a mutual friend of ours shared with me that my newly married friend thought it was inappropriate that I sent roses, saying that I must be in love with her because red roses are sent by someone who wants to express their romantic feelings to the recipient. And that I should have known white or yellow roses were OK, but not red!

I have been completely perplexed by this. Is it inappropriate to send red roses to a newly married couple? Should I feel embarrassed and call with an apology?

Gentle Reader: As silly as the symbolism of flower colors and the relative emotional truth-in-packaging they represent may seem, the precedent does exist. Your friend’s reaction, however, was beyond silly. Besides the presumptuousness of assuming something that clearly was not intended, if she really took it so seriously, wouldn’t flowers addressed to both members of the couple mean you were in love with both?

If you would like to continue the friendship, call or send a note saying that you meant for the red to symbolize the couple’s love for each other, not yours for them.

Dear Miss Manners: My sister regularly gives a donation to a charity in my kids’ names in lieu of a gift for birthdays and Christmas. Usually they thank her, but last time they didn’t, and she was upset.

Do you think a thank-you is required in this instance? She picks the charity. Not that this should matter, but these are college kids who don’t have much money.

Gentle Reader: The theory being that time is money and they are not currently in possession of either? Or more likely that if they received the money directly, they would be more inclined to thank your sister for it?

Presents should always be acknowledged. And while Miss Manners is in agreement that a charitable donation is not really a present when it is of the giver’s choosing, a thank-you remains the polite choice.