Wife should worry less for self, more for sick hotel clerk

annoyed with me, but we left. He said I was terribly rude and had embarrassed him with the way I physically reacted.

My main concern was not catching whatever she had. Besides standing right in front of her, she would have been handling my credit card, the room keys, the pen and paperwork that I would also handle.

Was I rude? I just did not want to get sick. How else should I have handled the situation?

Gentle Reader: With at least a semblance of polite concern for the person who is actually sick, before becoming consumed with the remote likelihood of your own illness.

Dear Miss Manners: What does “elegant shades of white” mean for wedding attire?

Gentle Reader: That the bride is the highly unusual combination of dictatorial, yet willing to be upstaged.

Dear Miss Manners: If a gift is given, is it ever appropriate for the giver to tell the recipient that more time and effort went into the gift than would possibly meet the eye? (“Believe it or not, it took all day to find just the right one for you.”)

On one hand, since it is the thought that counts, the recipient might want to know the amount of thought. On the other hand, such disclosures may tarnish the gift and come off like crass fishing for thanks.

Even if there is direct inquiry (“How long did it take you to make it?”), is it permissible to respond directly, or is deflection (“Oh, it was no trouble, really”) the preferred response?

Gentle Reader: “Oh, I had so much fun finding/ordering/ whittling this present for you. I do hope that you enjoy it.” If asked for more detail, Miss Manners will allow you to indulge modestly. Indulge, not luxuriate.

Dear Miss Manners: My mother recently gave me a photograph in a frame. I had given her that photo and frame 20 years ago. Her gift was hurtful to me, since I thought it was a meaningful gift when I gave it to her.

Is it necessary to thank someone for a gift you originally gave to them?

Gentle Reader: If it happens again, you might watch for memory loss. But Miss Manners will allow you to say, “Funny. Our tastes are so similar. How meaningful for us to have the same photograph in both of our homes.”