Teacher’s book shows kids how to be bully-proof
character and perseverance,” says Allen, “and I’m using resilience more in my individual sessions to teach kids what that word means. It’s really rewarding when school counselor week comes up and the kids recite what I’ve taught them throughout the year. Some have said, ‘Ms. Allen told me to never give up,’ or they’ll remember that if they see something at school that scares them, such as one of their peers threatening to hurt themselves, I’ve told them they can come to me or leave a note for their teacher. The kids understand that it’s important to get help for that person. They realize it’s the right thing to do.”
In “The No More Bullying Book For Kids,” Allen explains ways students can effectively protect themselves and others when confronted by a bully. She tells them that having a plan of defense is great, but when a bullying situation gets out of hand they should ask an adult they trust to intervene. She also encourages kids to lean on their friends and use “words and actions” to recognize when someone is being picked on. “Hopefully, you will choose to stand up and be an upstander, rather than just a bystander,” Allen writes, “become an upstander by standing up for the target.”
Allen identifies three main types of bullying that children encounter today, which are physical, verbal and emotional. She explains that these intimidating behaviors are repeated in patterns by kids who may learn them from siblings and parents, who seek power and control at school and who lack empathy and knowledge about diversity.
“When it comes to lack of empathy, I think that a lot of kids just don’t realize what it means to put themselves in another person’s shoes,” Allen says. “It’s kind of a tough concept for elementary kids to understand, so in my lessons with them I give them scenarios. Many times, students are able to have a better understanding when they imagine themselves going through something.”
Allen also discusses the negative effects of cyberbullying, which is dominant among the age group she teaches due to them having never known a world without technology and social media. Having worked in elementary education for 28 years, Allen has seen how the increased use of smart phones, tablets and computers has changed how students communicate and contributed to the rise of bullying on the internet.
“Cyberbullying becomes more prevalent as kids get older, usually ages 8 to 12,” explains Allen. “With the internet they feel they can get away with more and the apps they use connect them to so many people who like their posts of gossip or other hurtful things. It is important in this day and age that we make sure children understand the consequences of pressing send. They need to always know that anything they put online or in an email or text can go anywhere.”
Allen is excited about the impact her book will have not just on children, but also on parents, teachers and school administrators. She believes that the problem-solving tools, tips and resources she shares will empower students to reach their academic potential and enable educators to provide a safe and supportive learning atmosphere.
“When children believe in themselves and begin to model self-confidence, they are less likely to find themselves as targets of bullying,” Allen says. “I hope that my book will give them and their teachers the skills and strategies they need to establish a bully-free environment.”