Mom’s disapproval of cruel boyfriend understandable

a month. When we resumed contact, I forgave him.

My mother is less forgiving. She has told me to forget about him, that I can do better. I tried to explain how I feel about him and that I want to move on from it. She says she doesn’t approve of him, so now I sneak around with him and leave my mother out of the loop.

I want to respect her opinion but don’t want to give up the guy I love. Help?

Dear Torn: There’s a term for people who call others “horrible names” and “say nasty things”: “verbal abusers.” What they say can have enduring effects.

An example would be the way his accusations have affected your mother — who thinks you deserve better — and affected your relationship with her. Sneaking around is immature and dishonest. If he loved you as much as you say you love him, he would have apologized not only to you but also your mother.

Dear Abby: This is a message to the senior population. Our children grow up, marry and have children. Each grandchild is special; we love and adore being with each. Then the grandkids grow up and have kids of their own. By this time, we’re old and sometimes need help with housework or yardwork or would just like to get out of the house to go eat or shop.

Too many kids and grandkids seem to have no time for the elderly. We might say we’re fine and don’t mind being alone, but we are lonely at times. No one calls to say hello or to check on us.

Children and grandchildren, please think about this. The most important thing you can give elderly relatives is time

Dear Wise Woman: Your message is one that some families need to hear. But I’m also a strong advocate for individuals who advocate for themselves. Because your kids and grandkids don’t call, perhaps you should phone them to see how they’re doing. And if you are not fine or need help, let them know.