Manage wedding expenses with head, not heart
I can for my three daughters, who will one day get married,” wrote Chris from South Carolina. “One of my daughters is a big fan of the television shows ‘Four Weddings’ and ‘Say Yes to the Dress.’ Although her dreams are big, her budget (and ours) is not.”
His daughter’s boyfriend recently asked for her hand in marriage. Now this father dreads the coming conversation about their contribution to the cost of the nuptials.
“I realize that the marriage is so much more than the wedding day,” he said, “but many young people (and older folks for that matter) mortgage their future for temporary events. My main goal is to save for our retirement, which is about eight to 10 years away. We are willing to provide some funds, with a goal of giving them possibly $3,000 to $5,000, but have no plans to take money from our [retirement] accounts or go into credit debt. How can we help them financially?”
Once engaged, many couples often have certain expectations for financial assistance from parents.
The Knot, which does an annual wedding-cost survey, said the average cost of a wedding in 2017 was $33,391. That’s steep, and most likely not what many couples are paying.
The median cost is more like $15,000, which still makes for a pricey wedding. And parents are paying most of the expenses.
On average, millennials are paying for roughly 40 percent of their wedding, according to a WeddingWire survey.
The survey, based on responses from nearly 18,000 newlyweds married in 2017, found that most parents use savings to help pay for their children’s weddings. But 20 percent put the expenses on a credit card, 9 percent used retirement funds, and 7 percent took out loans. Three percent of parents refinanced their mortgage or got a homeequity loan.
It’s a big mistake to rob your retirement or accumulate debt for a one-day event.
Manage expectations with your head, not your heart. Stick to what you can afford. A wedding is a big deal, but the party associated with it shouldn’t break your bank.