Husband’s attitude encourages artist wife’s isolation
Jeanne Phillips
Dear Abby: I am a shy, 30-year-old woman. I stay at home with our 10-monthold, primarily because of our family’s financial situation.
I am gifted in the visual arts, but, unfortunately, because I don’t have an art degree, I’m unable to pursue a professional job in the arts. Instead, I have been advertising to teach private art lessons at home. One month in, I have one student.
The past months have been lonely, and I am aching for friendship. My husband doesn’t seem to understand this.
We know one other family, but we are not close. I am considering offering free lessons to their kindergartner because it would not only help me to develop professionally, but also give me some adult interaction, which I desperately, desperately need.
Again, my husband doesn’t understand this, and he doesn’t want me to teach this young child for free. How can I make him see?
Dear Artist: Your husband appears to be unusually controlling. Have you told him that the reason you want to give the family free art lessons is so you can have some much-needed adult interaction? If you haven’t, you should definitely do this, rather than keep silent any longer.
He should not be isolating you the way he appears to be, which strikes me as worrisome. Is his motivation for keeping you in the house and away from others the money or could it be something else?
I think you should try doing what you have in mind and see how it works out. And if there are other young mothers in your area who gather periodically so their children can socialize, perhaps you could attend and make some friendships there.
If your husband continues to be as possessive as he appears to be, consider calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 for suggestions.
P.S. I encourage you to go for that degree as soon as you are financially able.
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