New mom needs some space from her pushy mother

to change her flights and come in after the holiday, only to be met with the accusation “you’re being selfish” from her and my stepfather. How do I tell them that I don’t want them here for Christmas while minimizing hurt feelings?

Dear Pushed: When she made the comments she did when she came to “help” after the delivery, did you tell her how offended you were? If you didn’t, there’s a communication problem.

Give your mother one more chance. Welcome her and your stepfather at Christmas and, if she makes a demeaning or unkind comment, her on it! And when you do, tell her that in the future you and your husband prefer to invite your houseguests rather than have them descend upon you.

Dear Abby: Because my husband and I are reaching advanced years, we know we will soon have to downsize to a senior living facility. In anticipation, we have begun distributing keepsakes we have accumulated over the years. Some are heirlooms that have been passed down from previous generations.

When I helped my son with his garage sale recently, I was shocked to discover several of the keepsakes on display. Apparently, he doesn’t value them! How should I handle future distribution of keepsakes, as there are more of them? —

Dear Sentimental: You now have two choices. You can either give the items as gifts to other family members, after first ensuring that they will be appreciated, or sell them and use the money to cover any expenses that may come up in the future.

P.S. If they have historical value, consider donating them to a museum.