Coffee or show invitation a way to gauge crush’s interest
there might be interest.
But even if that turns out not to be true, Miss Manners assures you that a two-year gap will soon seem insignificant — and little-sister vibes have a way of changing. If his college is somewhere that you would genuinely be interested in exploring, you can always go visit — and remind him of what he left behind.
Dear Miss Manners: I’m the mom of two very young kids. They are often invited to birthday parties and are too young to be dropped off and left without a parent. Several of these parties are held at restaurants at lunchtime, and I always find that food is provided for the kids but none for the adults. Attending parents must either abstain from eating or purchase their own meals.
I find this to be rude on the host’s part. My husband finds nothing wrong with it.
Because we live on a tight budget, I’ve decided to no longer accept invitations for at-restaurant parties. Am I expecting something from the host that I shouldn’t?
Gentle reader: Miss Manners assures you that requiring attendance for a meal that is only being served to some of the guests is rude. Because toddlers probably couldn’t care less about food as a means of entertainment, making it a central focus point seems nonsensical. She therefore permits you to forgo these festivities with a clear conscience.
I was asked by a friend to go to dinner to celebrate my 29th birthday. She said, “My treat,” and asked whether I was comfortable with a few mutual friends being invited, too.
We had dinner and were all standing to go to pay when she asked our other friends, “So who’s buying the birthday girl’s dinner?”
I thought she was joking, so I laughed and motioned to her. But she gave the others pointed looks. I was completely embarrassed and thrown by this direct attempt to get other people to contribute to buying my meal. Am I correct in assuming that this was in bad taste?
Gentle reader: It was particularly egregious, as it implied that you had something to do with the ungracious plot. Next time, raise your hand when asked for volunteers to pay. This will shame the host and other guests, if not into paying, into realizing that you were collectively duped.