Skyglider not my idea of uplifting experience

Icome from a long line of land mammals, so going up in the air has never been my favorite activity.

I fly on airplanes when the alternative — say 15 hours in a car — seems impractical. But just climb into a Cessna for a joyride? Not happening.

Likewise, I will take a ski lift to the top of a hill because, otherwise, I can’t ski. But jump on one for the sheer thrill of being suspended above the ground? Nope.

This brings me to the Skyglider, the attraction that offers the chance to ride high above the Ohio State Fair on a metal bench dangling from a cable. You can no doubt guess how often I’ve been on that piece of equipment.

And that was before I knew, courtesy of reporting by The Dispatch, that fair officials were warned in late 2017 (by the ride manufacturer, no less) that portions of the Skyglider were “literally starting to fall apart” and that hidden components might be corroded. That was the same year that the Fire Ball thrill ride flew into pieces, killing a rider in an accident blamed on rusted metal parts.

Yet after inspecting the parts it could see on the Skyglider, the fair opted to use the ride in 2018 anyway.

It ran safely, thank goodness, and there are plans to extensively refurbish the glider before the 2019 fair, when I also will not ride it.

I know, I know: Driving to the fair carries far greater danger than

anything I might encounter there, including even the deep-fried Pop-tarts.

But that’s logic that I favor except when it comes to hanging 35 feet above an asphalt surface for no compelling reason. In that case, I see no harm in letting fear guide me, since all it will do is keep me from an experience I didn’t want to have in the first place.

As a kid, I feared

heights — to the point that climbing the steps to the top of the sliding board terrified me. Over time, that evolved into more of a guarded attitude, as if heights were a troublesome relative. I’d put up with them when necessary, but I was never going to be delighted by their presence.

So I’ll fly on jets (I’ll be happier if it isn’t a Boeing 737 Max) because not doing so would make life less enriching. It took me a few trips before I stopped running through all the possible disaster scenarios, but now I’m so relaxed I can sleep fitfully, thrashing awake only during mild turbulence.

In the case of the Skyglider, though, the enrichment possibilities strike me as vanishingly small. So thanks but no thanks. I’ve weighed the odds, disregarded them and given in to fear. If that means forever depriving myself of an aerial view of the swine building, well, I can live with that.