Stop costing people money; RSVP respectfully

who I didn’t know well. The woman and her husband responded that they would attend the reception. They did not show up. Not only that, they never even offered an explanation for their absence. And they had company. There was an entire table of 10 that was empty because of the no-shows. None of them provided a good reason for reneging on the RSVP.

My husband and I paid for our own wedding and reception. We had saved for a year. Looking at those empty seats made me furious, because had we known — even up to a few days before the reception — that those folks were not coming, we could have cut our expenses.

Any gracious host understands that something like an illness can come up at the 11th-hour that is out of your control, especially for events that are months out.

But it’s rude and inconsiderate to say that you’ll attend an event and then just decide you don’t want to go. Stop wasting people’s money. Don’t increase their expenses just to “keep your options open.”

But maybe your mama didn’t teach you some manners. So, let’s go over the rules for an RSVP.

• Honor your word. If you RSVP yes, show up.

• Every event matters. Certainly a wedding is a big deal. But so are other celebrations small or large. Whether it’s a birthday party for a tiny tot or a family dinner, if you say you’re coming, don’t “ghost” the host.

• Give notice. If you RSVP “yes” but then can’t attend, send your regrets as soon as possible. And call the host. Don’t send a text, email or message through Facebook. • Offer an apology.

• Don’t suddenly appear. Showing up unexpectedly is almost as bad as a no-show. You show up having not bothered to RSVP, and now there’s not enough food for everyone.

This isn’t just about the money. Obviously the host valued your presence because you got an invitation. So, show a little RSVP respect.