Couples counseling could help resolve issue of timing for baby

Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My fiance, “Brad,” is the man of my dreams. We have been together three years. Brad is in his early 30s, and I’m turning 30 this year.

We decided on a long engagement so we could enjoy the planning process. Our wedding is scheduled for next year. We both work hard and live comfortably. We struggle now and then to make ends meet, although it’s nothing we can’t resolve by cutting back a bit.

The issue: I am ready for a child. He wants to wait until we have been married for at least two years. He feels it would require a lot of financial and lifestyle sacrifice that he doesn’t want to make right now. I understand where he is coming from. But lately, I have this overpowering sense of readiness and yearning to become a mother. I am more heartbroken every day knowing this reality is so far away.

How should I cope with this? — Future Mommy in Rhode Island

Dear Future Mommy: Because you and your fiance are not on the same page regarding this issue, couples counseling could be helpful. However, because you are becoming increasingly frustrated and depressed, also discuss these feelings with your physician. If you are worried about your biological clock, women have options today that weren’t available in years past.

Dear Abby: I am a 69-yearold divorcee who was married for 48 years. After I retired, I learned my husband had been cheating on me for God knows how long, possibly 20 years.

Following our divorce, I was finally persuaded to do some online dating. I am currently happy in an exclusive year-long relationship, but because I have been out of the dating world for almost half a century, I am confused by the new rules.

My boyfriend sometimes expects me to share the cost of what we do, whether it be restaurant, movies, golf, airline tickets, etc. My mother taught me that the gentleman always pays. Please give me advice about present-day dating etiquette. — Current in Texas

Dear Current: What your mother taught you was true in her day. However, because women are now in the working world, have incomes of their own, and are on a more equal par with men, they now share some or all of those expenses. Discuss this with your gentleman friend to see if you can reach an agreement.

Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.