COURTSHIP AMID COVID
Akron woman puts new twist on online dating
After her divorce more than a year ago, Akron resident Crissy Kolarik joined the millions of Americans young and old in the sometimes treacherous waters of online dating.
Kolarik was curious about how she would be received by other swimmers in the vast sea of unattached singles. She wasn’t looking for a quick hook-up, and she wasn’t in a hurry to get serious.
“When I first became single, I wondered if I was marketable,” Kolarik said last week.
She found that she was, reeling in 500 responses in two weeks, with many of the men oafishly trying to worm their way into her heart. For Kolarik, it was affirmation, but it was too much and ultimately unproductive.
“I had to shut it down – I literally couldn’t respond to everyone,” said Kolarik, who is in her late 40s. “It was overwhelming.”
So the West Akron actress – her IMDB page lists dozens of credits from acting to directing to writing – and telehealth counselor decided to try another tack. The horde of messages and the all-too-frequent pictures of male genitalia from delusional men cinched the decision.
A frequent poster on Facebook, Kolarik has been open about aspects of her life, including her search for a suitable companion. When her sister died from COVID-19, she shared news of the tragedy and continues to reference it.
Friendly and extroverted, she’s built a body of friends online and in person. But with the coronavirus pandemic playing havoc with her personal relationships, she turned to her Facebook friends for help in a not-so-seriousbut-maybe-a-little-bit-serious post.
“I have so many attractive young friends, I bet some of you have really handsome dads. Any chance he’s single? #askingforafriend,” she wrote on Nov. 10.
Although going old school with new media diverges from the traditional online dating path, the West Akron professional is far from alone in testing the online dating pool. It’s been a constant growth industry, and COVID-19 may be fueling a faster expansion.
Match Group Inc., which operates several online dating sites including Match.com, Tinder, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish and Hinge, reported an 11% yearover-year growth in average subscribers during the second quarter of this year.
Surveys, too, have indicated a seismic shift in dating protocols since the onset of COVID-19: Couples are meeting in person less and taking longer to develop a relationship before becoming intimate. For many, the early stages of a relationship that used to take place at a bar or restaurant take place online or in outdoor settings.
A Vox.com story developed from more than a dozen interviews about the state of dating found that many singles have become “despondent” about their prospects for romance since the advent of the coronavirus pandemic.
“Apps are now one of the only ways to meet people, but it can take weeks or months to take a budding romance of
“When I first became single, I wondered if I was marketable. ... I had to shut it down – I literally couldn’t respond to everyone. It was overwhelming.” Crissy Kolarik, who reeled in 500 responses in two weeks
fline,” author Elizabeth Segran wrote in a Nov. 13 story.
For her part, Kolarik is neither despondent nor in a rush, she said. In fact, she uses humor when describing her dating details.
“I’m not desperate, and I’m not gullible,” she said.
But she is tall for a woman, and that presents another hurdle. Kolarik said she prefers to meet men as tall as she is, and at 6-foot-1, that leaves less than 10% of the American male population as prime candidates. She’s dated shorter men, but she likes to start off on an even footing.
In her therapy work, Kolarik said she’s talked with scores of men and women who have seen their dating prospects complicated or diminished by the coronavirus pandemic. Many find virtual romance not romantic at all.
“The women and men I’ve talked to suffer with virtual (dating),” she said.
Many find it difficult to get beyond an initial interest sparked by a photo.
“When you meet organically or in public you have a chance to get to know them.” Kolarik said. “Online, you have a photo. That’s all you have.”
Kolarik said response to her Facebook post has been overwhelmingly positive, with requests from men and suggestions from women.
“I can’t even tell you how many private messages I got after that,” she said.
So far, however, no single, handsome dads have made their way into her heart – not yet, at least.
But Kolarik said she takes it all in stride and is even thinking about a reality series or documentary based on her experiences. She’s also thinking about making a humorous video on the naked truth of online dating.
“I was considering doing a video joking about the [penis] pics,” she said.