After-hours texting keeps retiree from well-earned sleep
Dear Abby: My wife and I are both recently retired. Our 19-year-old daughter lives 100 miles away at college.
My wife has an elderly mother. My problem is family and friends who text early in the morning.
When I was working, I had to get up at 4:30 a.m., so one of the biggest rewards of retirement is no alarm clock. My wife keeps her cellphone next to the bed because of our daughter and her mother, so putting it somewhere else is not an option.
When a text comes through, I automatically think the worst. My adrenaline kicks in, and I can’t go back to sleep. One person even sent me birthday wishes at 3 a.m. Why do people know not to call at those hours unless it’s an emergency but still text? How can I let people know that even though they are up, I am enjoying the rewards of a well-earned retirement and would like to be able to sleep until I wake up on my own?
— Late To Rise In Pennsylvania
Dear Late: Notify your friends and family that unless there is an emergency, they should please not text before 10 a.m. because it wakes you up. Repeat that message as often as necessary. And do some research because there may be features on your wife’s cellphone that would enable ONLY texts from your daughter and motherin-law to come through, while you blissfully slumber.
Dear Abby: When my parents were in their 70s and began to lose friends, I remember their discussions about when it was generally acceptable for the surviving spouse to begin “keeping company” with another woman or man. The consensus seemed to be about one year.
I’m wondering: Is there still a recommended amount of time in which to begin dating without being disrespectful to the memory of the deceased?
— Inquiring Mind In Michigan
Dear Inquiring Mind: If you’re asking what “others” might consider a suitable time for a widowed person to resume romantic relationships, and you plan to live your life according to other people’s standards, then conform to the one-year rule. However, if you feel ready before that, then go for it. Everyone grieves the loss of a spouse differently.