Rejection rebound
How to move on after a college says ‘no thanks’
CHICAGO — Last year at this time, Kendall Livingston felt like a failure. The Fenwick High School senior applied to seven colleges and, despite her stellar academic record and test scores, didn’t get accepted at any of them.
Suddenly, her carefully orchestrated future imploded. Livingston had no idea what to do next and considered taking the year off.
Instead, at the urging of her counselor, Livingston hastily applied to a small liberal arts college that she never heard of before — in Scotland, no less — and today she is thriving.
“People need to know that there is life after rejection,” she said. “Looking back now, I know for a fact I would never have been nearly as happy in any other school besides St. Andrews.”
With acceptance letters from highly selective colleges hitting mailboxes this week, many applicants will face heartbreak, disillusionment and selfdoubt. The fact that admission rates at top-tier schools are at record lows will be of little comfort.
But there are also more than 2,000 four-year colleges in the United States, and a hardworking student can find success at any number of them, say experts.
“The selection process is just so arbitrary,” said Laura Docherty, Livingston’s counselor at Fenwick and former president of the Illinois Association for College Admission Counseling. “It’s really like gambling.”
Still, for students who receive the dreaded thin envelope — or a curt “no thanks” online — it’s hard not to take it personally. Was it that C in biology sophomore year? Not enough extracurriculars? The essay’s limp finale?
None of the above. It’s not about Thousands of students are denied admission into their dream colleges and go on to have a happy life. Experts offer the following tips on how to rebound: Even if you’ve been rejected by your top school, be sure to thank your teachers and those who wrote letters of recommendation for all of their help in your application process, according to IvyWis, a private, college consulting firm. You never know when you’ll need to lean on a teacher for help down the road. Once you’ve settled on an alternative, do a pre-orientation program over the summer to dive right into campus life. Research shows that students who do preorientation programs have higher retention and graduation rates. If a friend got accepted but you didn’t, try to rise above it, says Allison Singh, author of “Getting Over Not Getting In.” “The fact that they got in should be additional proof that the process is flawed,” she said, adding that humor helps to keep a healthy perspective. Don’t dwell on the past. Embrace your new selection and be prepared to fall in love. merit, but math, say experts. The number of students who applied to seven or more schools has risen steadily during the last 20 years, reaching 25 percent in 2010. In 2000, the number was 13 percent. In 1991, it was 8 percent, according to the National Association for College Admissions Counseling.
It’s not just the larger applicant pool — it’s also that more seniors are vying for slots at the same 25 to 30 schools due to relentless marketing and the ease of an online application. Other drivers include the popularity of early admissions along with a spike in applications from international students.
Then, subtract slots reserved for athletes, legacies, geography, big donors, first-generation college-goers and other factors and it’s no wonder every Ivy League school admitted less than 10 percent of applicants in 2012. Harvard gave the nod to a mere 2,032 of 34,302 applicants, a measly 5.9 percent. So, it’s time for Plan B. For Livingston, that meant starting over. The Hinsdale, Ill., resident was denied by five schools and wait-listed — the equivalent of purgatory — at Baylor and University of Wisconsin.
Docherty knew her student was a strong candidate. They ignored brand names and went back to her original list of interests, which included studying abroad. Docherty reached out to the admissions office at St. Andrews, a liberal arts college founded in the early 1400s, to test the waters.
St. Andrews immediately gave her a “yes,” and now she can’t imagine being anywhere else.
She ticks off the pluses: Tutorials with an instructor and a small group of students for really delving into material presented at large lectures, classmates who come from all over the world and using school breaks to travel. Her biggest stumbling block so far: No Jif peanut butter.
The lesson she learned was to not let a rejection letter define her.
“The key to surviving the process ... is to keep a positive attitude and not give up, be open to other alternatives and to remember that, if worse comes to worse, transferring as a second year is always an option.”