The Commercial Appeal

Host opened the door to use of electronic­s

- By Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners: We hosted a dinner for a female friend of ours. After dessert, we retired to the family room to watch a onehour episode of a top-rated program. Our guest wasn’t interested, and proceeded to take out her phone and check e-mail, or something.

I found this to be very rude. Am I crazy, or have folks become so phone-obsessed that they find it virtually impossible to break free of the darn thing? ent is startlingl­y rude.

But you started with the electronic­s, without warning and without consulting your guest. You left her to amuse herself, and she did.

Dear Miss Manners: I will be 52 by the time of my wedding next month. After my last divorce, No. 2, I went back to my maiden name. Now, I’ve been thinking of keeping my maiden name and adding it to my new husband’s.

He says it doesn’t matter to him, but I’m curious what’s the right thing to do. I know the hassles of changing everything I have to change, and of course, even hyphenatin­g will create this same issue.

I’m not sure if I would have to use the hyphenated name on everything, or if I can pick which name to use at a particular time. Can you help me, please? was long ago superseded by individual­s (let’s face it, ladies) asserting their claim to be addressed as they wish. So now everyone is happy, yes?

No. Everyone is angry that others may be unaware of her choice, and disapprovi­ng of others’ choices.

You see why etiquette has stepped back. Maiden name, married name, hyphenated name — etiquette does not object to any of them. Miss Manners also recognizes the convenienc­e of using more than one name, such as using your maiden name profession­ally, especially if you have establishe­d a reputation under it, and using your married name socially, to keep your private life apart from your profession­al life. That would not require official changes.

But she will warn that you will not be able to get on an airplane unless you remember which name matches your documents.

A: Don’t blame yourself for what happened; your mother didn’t suffer and die because you didn’t have enough faith. Instead, God graciously took her to her heavenly home — and that should give you great joy, in spite of your grief.

God certainly wants us to pray when loved ones face a health crisis — and we should pray in faith, believing that God is able to bring healing. And He is, because He is all-powerful, and He is able to act in ways that are far beyond our understand­ing. (Remember, too, that He can use medicines and doctors and nurses to bring healing; after all, He gave them Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham Evangelist­ic Associatio­n, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit billygraha­m.org.

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