Horoscopes
Dear Miss Manners: Early in the school year, we received a request from the advancement director of the parochial school where our son attends kindergarten, requesting the addresses of his grandparents.
The initial correspondence suggested that the school was looking to “build relationships” and hoping to invite grandparents into the school for various activities with the students.
With the grandparents’ permission, I provided the school with their addresses, and the grandparents subsequently received an invitation for a Grandparents Day event months ago. Now, long after that event, the grandparents report that they received a letter from the school requesting donations.
Does this qualify as “building relationships”? Isn’t this more or less a tacky bait-and-hook scheme? Am I wrong to be offended?
When I request that the grandparents’ contact information be removed from the school’s database, should I explain why?
Gentle Reader: Unfortunately, Miss Manners has found that people are reluctant to define a relationship as anything but a financial transaction. (Look at how many people don’t consider themselves married unless they spend thousands on an over-thetop wedding reception.)
By all means, let the school know why you are requesting that your parents’ information be removed. They should be aware that when you provide contact information for specific events, those are not blanket invitations to ask for money:
“I’m afraid my parents were not expecting to be solicited for fundraising. If it is possible to keep them only on the grandparent social events list, then they are happy to remain there. But if there are not separate lists, kindly remove them, and I will let them know about any pertinent social events for the school.”
Dear Miss Manners: Is it rude to scream in a shrill voice in crowds? I am so tired of having my eardrum ruptured by screaming girls and women at social events.
Gentle Reader: Yes, but it is also presumptuous to assume that those shrill voices are limited to one gender.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners @gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. Aries (March 21-April 19). Don’t ask other people for answers today because the answers are not in other people. Seek solitude. Be a monk for a few hours. Taurus (April 20-May 20). Learn the history and you’ll understand the factors affecting the present situation a lot better. Also, the ones who are in the know will be impressed and perhaps flattered by your curiosity. Gemini (May 21-June 21). You’ll use your freewheeling spontaneity to capture the attention and interest of your intended. After that, though, self-discipline and organization are needed. Relationships thrive with structure. Cancer (June 22-July 22). Maybe you’re the universal favorite child of the day. People around you will seem to be working just for you. Or maybe it’s just that your needs are in alignment with what others want most to give. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). The concerns of humans may be an infinitesimal point in the immensity of the universe, but that doesn’t keep them from feeling like a large weight to one person. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Since you know that when you say yes your hyper-vigilance will kick in and you’ll give your very all to the thing, you’re very careful about what you say yes to today. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It will be rather easy to see the dim shadows of life this morning. Once you change the channel, everywhere you look you today you’ll see life happening in a kind of glad, rejoicing action. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). An emotion is like a sound: It’s an internal interpretation of an external vibration. The vibration is not the feeling. Feelings don’t exist around us. They are made inside us and can be remade their, too. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Time to refer to your role models. If you are not moved to do so, it’s a sign that you may need to add a new role model. Search high and low for inspiration. P.S.: Your role model does not have to accessible or even alive. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It’s good to know that change is coming, as you dislike having change sprung on you at the last second. The excellent communicators who let you know what to expect will win your loyalty. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re not waiting for another person to make the situation better. You sense that most of the changes that matter will come from you. You roll up your sleeves and get busy. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Like a laptop featuring an on-screen spinning ball, information overload could have you feeling hot and confused. What helps is a way of categorizing and processing this. Use these two categories: “Actionable” or “Not actionable.” Today’s Birthday (April 11). Don’t worry about labeling your pursuits of the next 10 weeks. Your interest may seem scattered and random, but something remarkable is coming together here. In June you’ll get a clear plan and your project will grow to the perfect beautiful size. The same love affair will take many forms this solar return. Leo and Capricorn adore you. Lucky numbers are: 6, 20, 33, 28 and 15.