Dad doesn’t like son’s drinking

Dear Harriette: My young adult children have been slyly drinking at family events recently. They are 20-year-old twins, so they have not reached the legal drinking age. I caught my son holding a beer in the kitchen and immediately made him pour it down the drain. He does not even know his own limits!

Is my son being disrespectful by drinking in my home? I think so; however, my wife thinks it is safer that he drinks with us to figure out how he handles his liquor. — Family Not Booze, Dallas

Dear Family Not Booze: While I do not condone underage drinking, I will say that it is likely that if they were drinking in your home, there’s a good chance they have been drinking in other places, too.

Do your best to have a nonjudgmental conversation with your kids about their choices. Remind them of the reasons you do not recommend that they drink. At the same time, acknowledge how common it is for people their age. Ask them how often they drink. Go slowly with this conversation, as it is usually difficult for young people to admit their illicit behavior.

I cannot recommend that you let your children drink at home. I can tell you that many families do make that choice so that they can watch their children, know that they are not driving and help them to learn to make smart decisions. If you do allow them to drink at home, do not let them have parties with their friends with alcohol. You will be liable if anything happens.

Send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.