Ask stepmom to speak English

English is my stepmother’s second language. She says she is more comfortable in her native tongue, but she has also known English for over 20 years. I mention this because I hear her speaking Spanish with my stepsisters, and I think they’re talking about me. Why would they speak a language they know I can’t understand?

Can you figure out triggers for the moments when you feel they are speaking Spanish and excluding you? Do you have solid reason to think they are talking about you rather than simply speaking in their own common tongue? When they launch into Spanish, you should immediately ask them to speak English so that you can understand the conversation, too. Continue to ask, even if they comply occasionally.

I would recommend going one step further. Take a Spanish class. Learn to speak this language that is now part of your family. You don’t need to tell them that you are studying. Just learn and begin to pick up on what they are saying. When you become more fluent, start to speak to them in Spanish. If you find that they have been talking about you, ask them in Spanish to choose to be family with you instead of squabbling over anything. Then work hard to build a relationship with them. Talk to your father about this, too, so that he can help to be the glue. It takes time for families to blend, but it is possible, even when there are language barriers.