Nice guy doesn’t like spon­tane­ity

The Commercial Appeal - - Sunday Break -

Dear Har­ri­ette: I’ve been dat­ing a man who is the quin­tes­sen­tial nice guy. He calls me a lot. He asks me out on dates ev­ery week­end. He has great man­ners.

On pa­per, he is ev­ery­thing a girl could want. The prob­lem is, I am bored out of my mind. He is so pre­dictable. I un­der­stand this should be great, but I want to have my guy make things ex­cit­ing, at least a lit­tle.

I tried to light the spark by sug­gest­ing dif­fer­ent kinds of dates, but he is clear about what he wants to do, when the date be­gins and when it ends. I am spon­ta­neous, at least a bit, and he doesn’t seem to have room for that. I know we aren’t a per­fectly matched cou­ple, but I do like him. How can I get him to think more col­lab­o­ra­tively? It is nice to have com­pany, so I don’t want to push him away.

— Rev Him Up, White Plains, New York

Dear Rev Him Up: Ask your­self if nice is enough. It doesn’t sound like it to me. If you want more, be will­ing to ask for more. Be hon­est. Tell him you want to mix things up a bit. Ask him to con­sider be­ing more col­lab­o­ra­tive. Now is the time to get to know him bet­ter. He may be cau­tious about what you do on dates be­cause he is watch­ing his bud­get. Sug­gest free or af­ford­able ac­tiv­i­ties that are fun, like ap­ple pick­ing or hik­ing around a lake and bring­ing a bag lunch. If he doesn’t budge for any new idea, re­think whether he’s your guy. You de­serve a date who is will­ing to con­sider your ideas too.

Send ques­tions to askhar­ri­ette@har­ri­et­ or c/o Uni­ver­sal Uclick, 1130 Wal­nut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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