Man doesn’t like fiancee’s friend

I have been good friends with my high school boyfriend for my whole life. I am now in my late 40s, and we still check in with each other from time to time. He is married with a couple of kids. I am now engaged. We have always been respectful of each other’s lives, even as we have stayed close.

My fiance doesn’t like this setup. He thinks I should have no male friends other than him. He says nothing good can come of these kinds of friendships. Do I have to give up this friendship in order to marry my fiance?

Why not get your fiance and your ex and his wife together? Plan a meal where everyone can get together and get to know each other a bit. This may help to defuse any concerns your fiance has. You should also inquire as to why your fiance feels it is impossible for such a friendship to last.

This is no small issue. The people who figure prominently in your life are important. Relationships that have lasted for decades should be taken very seriously. Before shrugging off any important friendship, you should evaluate whether you think walking away is a smart decision.

Talk with your fiance about his values regarding family, friends (of both genders), work and childrearing. Couples who do not go through this exercise often end up getting surprised by belief systems and values that don’t mesh long after they have walked down the aisle.