Man doesn’t like fi­ancee’s friend

The Commercial Appeal - - Sunday Break -

I have been good friends with my high school boyfriend for my whole life. I am now in my late 40s, and we still check in with each other from time to time. He is mar­ried with a cou­ple of kids. I am now en­gaged. We have al­ways been re­spect­ful of each other’s lives, even as we have stayed close.

My fi­ance doesn’t like this setup. He thinks I should have no male friends other than him. He says noth­ing good can come of th­ese kinds of friend­ships. Do I have to give up this friend­ship in or­der to marry my fi­ance?

Why not get your fi­ance and your ex and his wife to­gether? Plan a meal where ev­ery­one can get to­gether and get to know each other a bit. This may help to defuse any con­cerns your fi­ance has. You should also in­quire as to why your fi­ance feels it is im­pos­si­ble for such a friend­ship to last.

This is no small is­sue. The peo­ple who fig­ure promi­nently in your life are im­por­tant. Re­la­tion­ships that have lasted for decades should be taken very se­ri­ously. Be­fore shrug­ging off any im­por­tant friend­ship, you should eval­u­ate whether you think walk­ing away is a smart de­ci­sion.

Talk with your fi­ance about his val­ues re­gard­ing fam­ily, friends (of both gen­ders), work and chil­drea­r­ing. Cou­ples who do not go through this ex­er­cise of­ten end up get­ting sur­prised by be­lief sys­tems and val­ues that don’t mesh long after they have walked down the aisle.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.