The Commercial Appeal

What I lost – and learned – from violence

- Your Turn Guest columnist

Violence shifted my life for the worse, but even thundersto­rms have their fair share of flowers. When I was 4 years old, my dad was taken away from me never to be seen again by my susceptibl­e eyes. I think back and wonder, “What would’ve happened if he wasn’t armed and taken as a threat?”

The monotonous rhythm of that same ‘what if ’ tune bombards my mind. Violence impacted my life and I continuous­ly change because of it. Being stripped of a love only a father could provide, my heart was engraved with a scar that a band-aid can never heal.

However, I learned that love can be generated from any source, and the most reliable one is myself. I learned that no matter how much anything hurts, it will be left in the past and so should my emotions that were attached to that pain. I gained an important asset in friendship which is to give love and be grateful for what I do have. Violence taught me the most crucial lessons of life while also solidifyin­g a prosperous future.

Violence has exploited generation­s of children through influentia­l people in their lives. Children are supposedly thought of as a reflection of how their parent(s) have raised them, so this implies that the parents, one way or another, showed some signs of violence and I believe they are the greatest cause of violence. Another factor may be an external source such as bullying. This makes the victim react with the fight, flight or freeze response encouragin­g continuous violence.

Physical abuse is not the only type of abuse an individual may inflict on another person. It can extend to mental, emotional and physical abuse. Some kids may be beaten, talked down to, hearts get broken, and others forced to participat­e in religions or customs that may not align with their own beliefs. Adults don’t take into account the potential long-term affects this treatment can have on children...

I would like to have the actual victims of crimes to become involved in the solutions to prevent violence in order to help them heal. I also think it is important to educate the offender showing them that violence is an individual choice and they must take responsibi­lity to for their actions. This can be done by offering support groups and/or interventi­on plans. This narrow vision that only sees violence as a way to survive can be mended, and we can provide other examples of how conflict or disputes can be resolved.

In summary, everyone has had his or her fair share of violence, including me. We all have to work towards no longer being a victim. Resorting to violence is saying that one’s willpower can be overcome easily and used against them or anyone else. If people understand that they are limitless, violence would become a last resort.

Youth have been used by violence without mercy, but there is always another answer. Sure, it may take time to find solutions but the findings would be worth the effort. Not all hope is lost, and the world will continue to find balance as it has done countless times in the past.

Toriyell Howard is an 8th grader at Oakhaven Middle School. Read the complete essay at commercial­appeal.com/ opinion.

 ?? COMMERCIAL APPEAL ?? There was a candleligh­t vigil for a Memphis murder victim in 2012. MIKE BROWN / THE
COMMERCIAL APPEAL There was a candleligh­t vigil for a Memphis murder victim in 2012. MIKE BROWN / THE
 ?? Toriyell Howard ??
Toriyell Howard

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States