Hoping for an invite to braggy friend’s vacation home

Dear Miss Manners: If a friend spends four years talking about every detail in the construction of a vacation home, then describes all the fun of having friends and relatives visit for a weekend, might one assume one will be invited, sooner or later?

Gentle Reader: One might hope so. But Miss Manners notices that social media postings have accustomed people to the idea that generalized bragging, along the lines of “Nyah, nyah, here’s what I have and you don’t,” implies no further action than admiration on the part of the excluded recipient.

Dear Miss Manners: My 4-year-old grandson’s parents and I request that he address adults with respect, using “Mr.” or “Ms.” For example, he addresses the door-persons in my building as “Ms. Alicia” and “Mr. Daniel.”

When he addresses one of my senior citizen neighbors as “Ms. Edna,” she tells him she is “just Edna, not Ms. Edna.” How can we continue to teach him respect while respecting her wishes as well?

By Judith Martin and Nicholas Ivor Martin

Reader: Child-rearing would be a lot easier if it were only a matter of issuing inflexible rules. “Always be completely honest” sounds like a good one, until Auntie Lauren asks your toddler if he loves her and would like a kiss.

So you must also deal with conflicting virtues, such as kindness and respect. Miss Manners considers your problem an opportunity to point out that sometimes respecting what the other person wants is more important than following the general rule.

When that “sometimes” is legitimate and when not is also an important lesson, but one that might be saved for when your grandson is older.

Gentle

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.