MISS MANNERS Open door invites too much traffic
Dear Miss Manners: My personal office door opens directly to the passage between the lobby and the rest of the office (break room, other offices, etc.), all of which are in close quarters. I prefer to keep my door open so that anyone can walk in for their needs relating to my department.
However, because of this, everyone walking by naturally looks into my office with me sitting sideways, facing my computer. I do not particularly mind this, except that some of my co-workers might find it rude when I neglect to greet them when they pass by. (Of course, I greet anyone who knocks or steps into my office.)
Am I rude not to greet each person passing by? Should I just close my door? Unfortunately, the door does not have a glass panel or anything that would make my office a little more accessible.
Gentle Reader: Your office would be accessible if, when anyone knocked on your door, you answered, “Come in.” Why do you want to leave yourself open to hallway traffic?
Miss Manners knows why. You have the popular idea that this shows openness, if not warmth, to human contact, although that might not be relevant to your work. What your closed door shows is that you are hard at work and should not be disturbed other than for work-related matters.
Dear Miss Manners: I’m unable to attend a distant relative’s wedding and bridal shower. I am wondering what your thoughts are on if there is the need to send monetary gifts, and proposed amounts.
Gentle Reader: You do not have to pay to stay away, even if the couple proposed that – and if it would be worth it.
By Judith Martin and Nicholas Ivor Martin
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews Mcmeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.