MISS MANNERS Wife is uncomfortable in videochat
Dear Miss Manners: My husband has long phone conversations with his kids, cousins and siblings – every day. They used to be regular phone calls, then he switched to speakerphone, now it’s virtual conferences during the coronavirus crisis.
I was never a part of these calls previously, but now he feels I should be chiming in, at least for a little while. I’m an introvert, not very close to his family and uncomfortable with this new normal, even with my friends and family.
Am I being rude? Should I reach out and let them know how I feel about this?
Gentle Reader: Telling them that you don’t enjoy talking with them? Yes, that would be rude at any time. During a crisis, when families feel the need to be especially close, it would be cruel.
Could you imagine saying such a thing if they were visiting in person?
Miss Manners is not condemning you to lengthy virtual gatherings. Just pop by the monitor, ask how everyone is, and assume a look of regret when you say, “I’m afraid I have to excuse myself ” – no explanation necessary or advisable.
Dear Miss Manners: If I call in a grocery order and drive to the store to pick it up, should I tip the person who brings it to my car? He or she is probably not the person who filled the order.
Gentle Reader: No, but he or she is taking a risk to help get the order to you. If you want to add another tip, asking that person to take it to whoever did fill the order, Miss Manners would consider it gracious.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews Mcmeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.