Deactivate social media after death

Dear Annie: As we live in an electronically connected world, there is a downside that bothers me. I have had a couple of friends die and their Facebook and Linkedin accounts have remained active. On their birthdays, I receive notifications. I find it creepy. In my mind, Linkedin is for connecting with others for work reasons.

That said, there are some people who are only connected in that way. I understand why a profile might be kept active. Facebook makes that connection in our personal lives.

I suggested to one friend that he turn off the birthday notification for his deceased wife, which he did. But he’s going to leave her account up for a while.

I’m not sure what the right answer is to this. I would like to add that I’m adding my passwords to my file of things that need to be done upon my passing. What are your thoughts?

— Live Profile

Dear Live Profile: You’re wise to set aside your login information, and I encourage you to document your wishes for all of your digital assets after your death. AARP has a helpful article available on their website titled “Prepare a Digital Estate Plan for Future Caregivers.”

Regarding your friends’ profiles: As someone who has grappled with deactivating a dead loved one’s social media accounts, I have to tell you that it can be tough. It really can feel like cutting one more thread connecting the person to the living world. Facebook and Instagram offer options to “memorialize” someone’s account when they pass away, which some families might prefer to do, and Linkedin will deactivate a profile if contacted about the owner’s death. But leave that for the families to decide.

And in the meantime, if a late friend’s profile shows up on one of your social media feeds, take it as an opportunity to pause for a moment and think of a memory of that person.

Dear Annie: Please recommend to “Still Hurting” — and others who are coping with the longterm effects of being abused as children — that they look into Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings.

Despite the name, these meetings are open to anyone who is suffering from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family, regardless of whether there was substance abuse present.

As you mentioned, having a community of people who understand you because they’ve been there and done that is vital to recovering from trauma.

Know that there is help, and you can get better. Thank you.

— Linda

Dear Linda: Thank you for recommending this lifeline. Readers can learn more at https://adultchildren.org.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane visit the Creators Syndicate website at www. creators.com.