Bride wants to catch her own bouquet
Dear Miss Manners: My daughter is getting married soon. Due to COVID, the wedding has been scaled down from 75 people to 20, and from four bridesmaids to one maid of honor.
After the wedding, my daughter wants to have her bridal bouquet dried and preserved. She was told to save as many flowers from the bouquet as possible, in order to ensure enough flowers make it to be preserved.
The bridal and maid of honor bouquets will look the same, so after the wedding, the bride wants to take both to ensure she has plenty of flowers to get preserved.
I feel the maid of honor’s bouquet belongs to her maid of honor and not to the bride, but my daughter says it belongs to her because she paid for it. I feel her one and only attendant will be hurt if she is not allowed to keep her own bouquet. Your thoughts, please.
Gentle Reader: Those thoughts are all with the poor bridegroom, about to join his life to that of someone who is ready to grab things away from her presumably best friend, and believes that money justifies her doing so.
Traditionally, it is the bridegroom, and not the bride, who buys the bride’s bouquet. So Miss Manners suggests that you tell him the problem. He can then order an enormous bouquet for her, presuming he does not run for the hills.
Dear Miss Manners: Is it acceptable to simply stop responding to invitations from a group of friends after I have consistently declined over a period of time?
I’ve never felt close to a particular group of my high school friends, but they have get-togethers eight to 12 times per year, which I have attended on and off the 40 years since graduation. I would go, hoping I’d enjoy it “this time,” but rarely did.
I’ve been declining lately, but would rather just bow out completely and forever. I’m not doing them any favors with my halfhearted presence, and I’d rather just focus on the friends I am close to. At what point can I just ignore the email invites, if ever?
Gentle Reader: After your 40 years of infrequent attendance, your high school friends have been talking about dropping you from the list, Miss Manners assures you. But they are afraid that might hurt your feelings. And surely you do not want to hurt theirs.
So the easiest thing is to keep declining those invitations. No excuse is necessary. But if that is really too much of a nuisance, you could write to the organizer, saying that it is unfortunate that you keep missing their gatherings, but want them to know that you wish them all well – a statement that is clearly associated with a lengthy departure.
Dear Miss Manners: Is it more personal to use “to” or “for” (as in “A Gift For You”) on a gift tag?
Gentle Reader: Although she prefers to write “for,” Miss Manners is not one to quibble with good intentions and generous actions, especially those directed toward herself.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews Mcmeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.