Smith and Rock can grow from a moment of toxic masculinity
Toxic masculinity is an endless cycle in America. I witnessed that cycle when I was 11 in my childhood home in Tullahoma, Tennessee. My mother and her boyfriend would get into late night arguments, screaming matches that would wake up me and my three siblings. I would see him put his hands on my mother.
His toxic masculinity cause anger to boil inside of me, but I didn't know what to do. I felt powerless. Over time, the cycle of physical violence filled me with anger but also the hope no one I loved would ever go through that again,
I witnessed toxic masculinity again during Sunday's Academy Awards. I was shocked by Will Smith's decision to walk up to the stage and slap comedian Chris Rock.
I have admired Smith since “The Fresh Prince of Bel-air.” Smith has always been a champion for positive Black representation in film and media, but his actions Sunday didn't reflect that.
Sunday night should have been a moment for education
Smith wrote in his memoir, “Will,” about the conflicting relationship with his father who would abuse his mother.
“My father was violent, but he was also at every game, play, and recital. He was an alcoholic, but he was sober at every premiere of every one of my movies,” Smith wrote. “He listened to every record. He visited every studio. The same intense perfectionism that terrorized his family put food on the table every night of my life.”
Some people may think they can take toxic masculinity experienced as a young boy and use it for good. But we must come to an understanding that toxic masculinity is not a foundation.
Sunday night was a moment for education, not physical retaliation. With violence, there is a victim and despite those who think Smith was in the right, Rock was the victim. Smith was the aggressor.
Watching that moment again, I saw a man determined to protect his wife, but I also saw him use a reckless slap to express himself. Aggression is a natural emotion when someone is mocking a person you love, but the choice of physical violence creates toxic masculinity.
There are lessons to be learned by both Rock and Smith
Let me be clear, Rock's mockery of Pinkettsmith's hair was horrendous. She has alopecia, which is an autoimmune disease that is found more often in Black women than white women and causes them to lose their hair.
Rock should have known the importance of Black women's hair because he made the documentary “Good Hair,” a deep dive into the hair industry and its effect on Black women.
We should always protect Black women.
Smith had a chance to also uplift Jada and the awareness of alopecia.
Unfortunately, toxic masculinity over shadowed his intentions. It's happened to others. From Michigan Wolverine's Men Basketball Coach Juwan Howard hitting an assistant coach from an opposing team, to Kanye West posting a music video where he acted out killing his ex-wife's new boyfriend Pete Davidson to now Smith's slap heard around the world.
Toxic masculinity is ingrained into our society. The cycle breaks only when you choose to go against what you've been forced to witness and learn.
Lebron Hill is an opinion columnist for the USA TODAY Network Tennessee and the curator of the Black Tennessee Voices newsletter. Feel free to contact him at Lhill@gannett.com or 615-829-2384. Find him on Twitter at @hill_bron or Instagram at @antioniohill12.