Pick's List

Men are fairly predictable in our Internet trolling. Where else do you think all of those “Jokes about Immanuel Kant” website hits come from?

Women are a bit more difficult to predict. My wife, Eileen, for example, finds incredibly obscure and always-interesting stuff. Those cute pictures of gore-spattered dentist Walter Palmer cuddling with just-born seals! Anton LaVey’s recipe for a butternut squash/raspberry pie!

Recently, Eileen discovered a link to a performance by a band called Mac Sabbath — and, yes, they’re an act paying tribute to the music of Black Sabbath through a McDonald’s restaurant motif. The lead singer, dressed as a clown, is Ronald Osbourne. Fantastic! And, bonus: This is real. Now, of course, I’m completely intrigued by the creative possibilities if Rock Dudes cross-pollinate musical homage with fast food. I anticipate seeing and hearing, in the near future, concepts such as:

1 Burger King Crimson — With their dynamic encore song, “In the Court of the Mustard Whopper”

2 (Red) Robin Trower — And an incendiary version of “Bridge of Fries”

3 Dairy Queen II — In which musicians wearing DQ smocks, and with a giant Blizzard hanging upside down over the stage, present in-toto the glam-rockers’ iconic sophomore album (highlighted, of course, by “The Fairy Feller Holds the Onions on His Belt Buster”)

4 Taco Belle & Sebastian — Watery Scottish indie pop in a watery nacho cheese sauce

5 KFC/ELP – Bombastic keyboard prog with musicians dressed in the Colonel’s string tie and white linen, offering two versions of “Tarkus,” original or extra crispy. Yes, this could go on and on. In fact, it will!

6Jack (White) in the Box?

7(Jackson) Five Guys?

8Wendy’s O. Williams?

9Hooters Girls do The Hooters?

10Terence Trent d’Arby’s?

Ahh. My ears are hungry and my tongue screams for the taste of song ...